Writing Down Something Dumb I Did So It Can't Torture Me Anymore: Prom Edition

A high-schooler's harrowing tale of hubris and humiliation

In high school, my girlfriend was on the prom committee. A few days before the big dance, she told me about a surprise they were planning.

The committee arranged for a horse and carriage to meet the seniors in the parking lot. They would pick students up at our cars and take us to the front door of the venue. 

I thought it was a stupid idea and I said so. It just reinforced all that Cinderella nonsense prom was so steeped in. I wanted a modern prom. With Korn and Limp Bizkit.

Then my girlfriend told me the horse and carriage was her idea. I probably should have taken what I said back but I was 17. So I doubled down and called it ridiculous.

The night of the prom, we got there early and my girlfriend spotted the guy with the horses setting up. She sternly informed me that we were going to ride in the carriage. So I pulled into a spot and we walked over in our rented tux and gown.

I have to admit, it was actually pretty cool. It was a nice night. Perfect temperature. We looked good. The horses looked fantastic. Everything was straight out of a fairy tale, and maybe that wasn't so bad.

Then the carriage rolled up to the front of the venue. The line of students waiting to get inside saw us for the first time and they went crazy. Almost at once, they jumped to their feet and applauded. There was screaming, hand waving, dancing... I even remember people taking pictures of us with cameras. Film cameras, because that's how old I am. People paid real money to preserve this memory.

We made an enormous impression.

Then someone shouted, “You da man!” because that's also how old I am. And then some other people shouted my name. Not my girlfriend’s, mine.

And that’s when it dawned on me: no one knew about the horse and carriage but the prom committee. It was a surprise. My girlfriend and I were the very first riders.

So everyone in line, most of the senior class, assumed that I rented Cinderella's carriage instead of a limo and took it across town to prom as a grand romantic gesture. Perhaps the most romantic gesture that many of these impressionable minds had ever witnessed.

I was a legend. 

Because of something my girlfriend did.

Which I called ridiculous.

Someday my daughter will ask me what prom was like and I'm going to lie.